It must have happened to all of us. You're sitting there, picking your nose, idly wondering if Jeremy Kyle could be persuaded to mimic David Blaine and bury himself, and pondering where life is taking you. Then an advert grabs your attention.
" Fly to New York for JUST £10!!!!" it screams. Yup CattleAirs latest offer seems to good to miss. So you think 'Yeah...I...I could do that. I want to see New York! SOD IT lets go!'
You fire up the laptop, which takes forever cos windows, apparentley, didn't close properly last time (poor windows). You find the website, and there is the banner. 'Click here to fly to New York for JUST £10' it says. So, with a finger now trembling with excitement, you click on it.
Up pops the new page...and the first question is......"Where would you like to fly to?"
Well...New York! I clicked on the thing saying fly to New York so I want to got to New York. Sorry if I wasn't being obvious.... So you scroll all the way down to U...... for America. Seriously how many other Countries do you know with america in the title apart from the united one? You find the city, you find the airport. You click on them..... and then you gradually begin to realize that the prospect of getting this done and dusted before the 'Loose Women' theme tune fires up is pretty remote...Indeed 'Deal or No Deal' might just have to wait until Channel 4 +1.
So you go through dates and times. You go through personal details. You go through personal details again because one answer didn't match what you put later. You go through the people your travelling with. How do you know them. Why are you travelling with them. Are you hoping to come back with them. Where exactly were you hoping to sit. How do....
...the phone rings..
You, like a fool, answer it. Seriously? You can save me money on my phone, mobile,internet and wash my towels? What do I have to do? Switch to BT? I'M ALREADY WITH BT!! You're talking to me on a BT line! Do your research and bugger off!!!!
And back to the computer...except you have been away from the page too long and it's timed out...details gone. Your excitement, at this time, has waned somewhat, but you have invested too much of your time already to give up now. Doggedly you press on, times, dates, travellers, done, oh yes! Next. Baggage. Bugger. Forgot about the baggage. We all have some, and you can't hide it so better to declare it now..
And on and on it goes...until you think you've cracked it....but the dates aren't available...or the email isn't correct...or something needs to be verified.
Finally, sat in pitch black because you felt unable to move to put a light on, with a slightly cracked screen from all the frustrated whacks it has taken, and an eye twitching like Dreyfus after a Clouseau visit, you have a screen in front of you. You can fly to New Jersey, in the standing section, for a mere £875 plus tax. Confirm?
And now it's just got serious. Because it's not quite what you expected when you started. It's all changed. It's all different. It's a serious commitment....but you have put so much time and so much effort into getting this far. You have to ask yourself. Did I want this holiday just on a whim? Or is there something inside telling me that I NEED this holiday? And if thats the case, just shut one eye and hit confirm. Cos it could be the best time of your life.
Now times that experience by 100...and you get some idea of how an assesment for adoption goes.
This isn't said to put anyone off. But anyone who saw those adverts featuring young kids and voiceover saying something like ' If you think you can give little Timmy a home, ring this number' and actually thinks they could adopt Timmy, may be a bit delusional. Brangelina will probably have got there years before you....But if you really want to adopt, and you're patient, good things can happen
But none of it begins until after your initial visit from the social worker and those wonderful words ' I think you could be suitable adopters...I will contact you soon to start the assessment'
...soon, in adoption, has a whole new meaning.....
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